Everything Changes But You…

What happens when everything you think you know isn’t quite as it seems?


Recently I’ve been thinking about adoption. I was adopted at 6 months but didn’t find out until I was 17, in an argument with my mum.

I used the revelation as another excuse to go off the rails as a teenager.

It was convenient to blame someone else for my behaviour (taking responsibility wasn’t a big thing for me when I was younger).

It brought up loads of things for me (and my sister who was also adopted) about trust, respect and keeping secrets.


Because I needed distance and time to think, I stayed at my mate’s house for 3 days before A levels which was good but I still failed badly at A Levels and had to live at home for a while but failing was a good thing because it caused A BIG SHIFT in my thinking.

I left home because my behaviour had made life hard for me in my home town and so I got into a college 150 miles away. When I moved away, my parents split up and I never really thought about being adopted until we had kids when I was married myself

My Dad died in 2003 and it made me really think about where I came from.

With some ‘guidance’ (let’s call it that) from my Counsellor wife I set about finding my birth mother…and there’s another story there…


This talk is about families, adoption and dealing with BIG secrets when they come out:

– family secrets

– big truths

– Life chances

– points of decision

– asking for help

– taking responsibility

– identity

– gratitude

The talk can be followed by a workshop session for up to 60 participants which can explore the issues raised and how to deal with family dynamics and the truths that emerge.

If you’d like to find out more, please get in touch.