As you know, I have for some time been looking at and educating around masculinities, relationships and how men and boys are being influenced to think of and treat women and girls.
We’ve seen a hardening of attitudes and beliefs around what ‘being a man’ means as a result of men shouting into microphones, social media influencers and global shifts towards the suppression of women in America, Iran and a host of other places. Men and Boys are being influenced to shut themselves back into the old-style Man Box which limits our emotional range, praises physical strength over ‘weakness’, encourages ‘hustle culture’ and glorifies prowess and control over women.
Something that we may have seen in previous generations, and that we would have expected and hoped for is the increase in liberal beliefs and moves towards equality for men and women in younger generations but that hasn’t happened, instead, old-fashioned ideas of what men and women *should* do have been re- established in the minds of younger men and boys.
This survey from King’s College London has revealed some depressing data from their 23,000 participant, 29 Nation survey into attitudes and beliefs on gender roles for International Women’s Day 2026. 31% if Gen Z men (born between 1997 and 2012 believed that women ‘should obey their husbands’ and 33% believed that men should ‘have the final say’ on important decisions within the relationship. This is a stark contrast to ‘Boomer’ men – born between 1946 and 1964 – where 13% believed women ‘should obey’ and 17% though men should have the final say.
There were a variety of other findings (see graph) but a fascinating one that exposes the hypocrisy of many of the masculinity influencers is that although Gen Z men are twice as likely as Boomer men (24% vs 12%) to believe that ‘women should not appear too confident or self-sufficient’, 41% of Gen Z men are ironically also more likely to believe that ‘women who have a successful career are more attractive to men’.
It’s pretty clear that notions of relationship equality, parity, income and power are being muddied in the modern era and online influencers continue to lead the way in creating confusion and blame and unhealthy relationship dynamics. This was found in the November 2023 Women’s Aid / ORB Survey into Influencers and Attitudes which found that amongst young people (aged 18-25) 31% felt there should be a ‘dominant partner’ in a relationship, 23% felt that consent wasn’t required to have sex with a partner when in a relationship and that 19% felt that it was ‘ok to physically hurt someone’ (as long as you said sorry) when in a relationship.
In the light of the afterglow of Adolescence and Louis Theroux’s new documentary looking at the ‘Manosphere’ there’s little doubt that the majority of the men who create content that looks like it supports men and boys – gym-bro / fitness content, dating advice, ‘wealth-chasing’ content – is in fact what I’ve termed Aspirational Misogyny – as so much of it seems to go hand-in-hand with negative views about women and girls and frequently is based on exploitation of women. The truth, is that those who are being manipulated and exploited are the men and boys themselves who are simultaneously becoming people who can display attitudes and behaviours that are actively harmful to themselves, their friends and more worryingly women and girls.
Maybe I can help?
Since 2010 I’ve been speaking about men’s health and wellbeing and since 2014 I’ve spoken about unhealthy relationship behaviours and dynamics, coercive and controlling behaviours and since 2020 about masculinities, stereotypes and misogyny.
The full range of workshops is HERE and feedback can be found HERE.
I’m also on Instagram at @_WhatMakesAMan_
If you think I could help you with your school, college, university or organisation please get in touch.
Bernie.